Tag: Covid-19

EXPENSIVE to LIVE

I’m sitting here feeling so burned out. I’m debating about whether or not I even have the energy to eat dinner. It is not like I ran a marathon today. But I did wake up, make the bed, take the dogs out, pack up some of the office, take pictures for Poshmark & Mercari, list some items, go to the grocery store, and I think that is about it. That was a lot for me to do, considering I am working with like -100% energy. If you have a mental illness, I know you understand where I am coming from.

I went to the Walmart Family Market because it is closer to our home and (supposedly) cheaper than other grocery stores. When I left, I’m ashamed to say that my bill was $160. For TWO people. I do not know when I have ever spent that much at the store. I got some bread items, cereals, salad items, trail mix ingredients, black bean burgers & sweet potato fries, some frozen vegetables, chips, granola bars, peanut butter crackers, and some fruit. Some how I managed to spend what it would take me two days to make being a Veterinary Assistant back in the day. -_-

This is a picture of me before I go into Walmart. Notice how I am trying to pose but, as always, something is wrong. There is a hair stuck in my eyelash it appears.

Anyone else over this social distancing thing? Ugh, it is miserable having to always wear a mask. Thankfully, I had some new masks come in that I ordered from Ebay forever ago. I’ve tried wearing the cloth ones but they have never fit my face right. It’s interesting to see how some people take the mask wearing very seriously while others decide to not wear one. I was prefer to er on the side of caution and keep something hot & uncomfortable covering my mouth right now. With my immune system, it is better to not roll the dice.

Currently I am reading Thats Mental By Amanda Rosenberg. I’m on the fence about how I feel about it. I will have to let you know when I am deeper into the book. I’ve definitely laughed at some of the statements, as they are relatable. I read a chapter today that discussed disassociating & feeling numb. That chapter really hit home with where I am in my life right now. At the same time, I almost feel this book would be more helpful for someone trying to understand mental illness, as opposed to someone experiencing it. It’s worth the read for me though. I’m realizing I greatly appreciate writing that has relatable sarcasm with a ring of truth.

He’s Rotten

Grizzly decided to sit on my brush when I was about to dry my hair earlier. He felt that if he licked my dryer (it was off) and plopped on my brush that this would enhance his chance of getting pets. Grizzly is such a sweet cat that it is hard to not love on him. When the hair dryer comes on though, he quickly disappears. Unlike my husband and chihuahua that will come lay on the bed specifically to listen to the noise.

I Found The Meep & The Purge

There has been this loud “meep meep” sound that has been terrorizing my husband and I for months now. After quite some time, we realized it was coming from the attic. Despite doing some major investigating, we could not locate it. The sound reminded me of a loud alarm beep. The sound was sporadic and would happen when you least expected it. Let me tell you, the struggle is real.

Today, I finally found the meep meep. We were taking boxes down from the attic and my husband stated that he thought the sound was in the heavy box labeled “TV.” Sure enough, later the box started randomly meeping. My husband, of course, was snoozing on the couch when it hit me. I COULD NOT TAKE ONE MORE MEEP. I ripped the tape off the box and grabbed the first guilty looking culprit. It turns out, the meep was coming from our Nest smoke detector. There of course was no OFF switch. I resolved the situation by running out to the car (at night) and chucking it into the back seat. I once did this with a Furby after being unable to get it to stop mumbo jumboing. Who knew the car could resolve so many issues. Case Closed.

Charlie does not like when I pack or clean. He wants items to stay on the floor and as dirty as possible.

Before all of this excitement took place, we unloaded many boxes from the attic. I had NO IDEA I saved so much sparkly senseless shit from the past. I’m now questioning whether or not I had a complete mental break from reality. I’m going to blame it on my Youtube shopping haul video obsession. I used to love to watch people show what they have purchased on Youtube. (OK…I still sometimes watch those videos…). I became completely inspired to buy items & discuss them on my channel. Here is a life lesson for you: Don’t do what other people are doing. It never turns out the same. Years later, my broke ass is un stuffing sparkly items from a cave. Learn from my mistakes.

So what did I do with all of these things you may be wondering? Just check the above picture. I became empowered this morning and taped together a lot of the priority USPS boxes that I recently over ordered. I wrote “FREE” in different colors across them and filled them with everything from seasonal decor, sparkly things, and items I will never use. Major props to my husband for hauling out those boxes of items he spent money on, to make me happy.

All I can say is that stuff does not make me happy in the way it used too. When I am surrounded with things, I become super anxious, depressed, and unorganized. None of those things help enhance my life. Hopefully though, the people that filled their car with my items will find their lives enhanced by them. I heard a small child ended up with my ceramic car bank. Maybe my purge became part of a fun story to his class about how he acquired a new car that can hold money. I would like to think so.

The Breakfast Coma Church Crew.

Since the day is going backwards in this blog, we will end on this morning. I was up early enough to prevent a piece of pizza from becoming my husband’s breakfast. What is it with men and cold pizza? It has become a thing, since COVID-19, that we make breakfast before watching church online. Today, I made scrambled eggs & waffles. Jeremy assisted me with the coffee. Everyone then piled onto our gray couch to watch the Seacoast church service. In case you are wondering about what time the services are online, please click here. They have great music and a relatable message, which I have always appreciated.

Not pictured is our cat Bella, who shortly joined us on top of the couch (or window). And of course me, who is holding my phone & breakfast. I do not wake up looking any sort of camera ready. If anything, my hair appears to have been hit by a category 5 tornado during the night. Therefore, I usually pass on AM Photographs.

Blueberry Waffles With Cinnamon Butter & Cheese Eggs

I feel like surviving today was in and of itself an accomplishment.

Zonked Husband & Target is $$ AF

Not too long ago my husband fell asleep on the couch. I knew after 3 beers, if I did not get him up now to go to bed he would be staying put. Let’s just say I would rather lift an ice berg than get him to understand why he needs to get in bed after sleeping on the couch for a while. After waking him up, he tells me it is 8:30 PM and it is too early to go to bed. I explain to him that he was just sleeping. He says he wants to watch another movie. So I say, you can either watch a movie and sleep out here or come to bed (he never likes sleeping on the couch all night). You learn things like this when you get married. He decided to go for the bed. He didn’t want to turn on any music though because he was not ready to go to sleep. I left him in the room playing his game. I would put money he fell asleep doing that in 2 mins. When I went back in the room, he was out, but still had his thumb on the game as if he was playing it. I had to take a picture.

Today has been a rough one for me. It ended better than it began so there is that. This morning I rescheduled my counseling call because I felt like I was hardly coherent. I’ve been suffering from head aches, night mares, and all around sleep issues. I just truly was not in a good mindset to do it. I thankfully was able to reschedule the call for Tuesday at 11 AM.

I just felt so completely depressed when I got up this morning. Defeated. Tired. Sad. Basically every negative word in the dictionary. I did not do my morning routine of vitamins and listening to soft music, so I am sure that set my day in the complete wrong direction. I felt like I was suffocating in the house. Being my crazy random self, I decide that in the middle of a pandemic that it is a good idea to go to Target. Again, I just needed to get out. Don’t get inspiration from me though because my ass really should have been inside. I need to learn to sew. Maybe that would keep me still for longer periods of time without feeling a mental break coming on.

Going to Target was very strange. It was nice on the way over there but so much is shut down. I want to give a shout out to the Target employee today that was taking the time to sanitize all of the shopping cards to give to customers. She saved me from having to open one of my sanitizer cloths. I was wearing a face mask when I went & used hand sanitizer in the car. The atmosphere at Target was quiet. Many shelves were cleared out. Especially, the cleaning shelves. One of these days I will see a lysol can again. I can feel it. Also, the art aisle was wiped clean. I had interest in getting a drawing pad until I saw that they were $9.99 ! Yeah, NO. The Dollar Tree sells these for $1. I did see a few fantastic journals that explained on the cover what this pandemic is making me feel like.

After giving up on the cleaning and the art section, I wandered into the clothing part of Target. The first pair of workout pants I checked the price on was $40. FORTY DOLLARS. What the hell? I got out of that section QUICK. Finally, I located a rack of T Shirts that looked soft. Surprisingly, the XXL ones looked like they would fit me. Target clothing always seems to run so small for me. I ended up with a Lion King and Garfield Tee. If they fit and I can wear them during social isolation, then they work! Oh, these shirts were $12.99 each. Which seemed reasonable to me.

One of the last sections I found at Target was the Dollar Spot. Why they call it the Dollar Spot anymore is really beyond me. It is actually difficult to find $1 items there. It’s more like $3, $5, $7, and higher. Yet, for some reason, that section always manages to pull me in. Though I almost bought Daisy some pool toys and Jeremy a seasoning grow kit, I put them back. They were just overpriced and an impulse buy. Again, I can find Daisy’s pool toys at the Dollar Tree where everything is $1.

Somehow, even with all my reasoning of items I should pick up, I still managed to spend $118. It is like REALLY? I did buy a few bags of things but dam. I got 5 plastic tote crates to help us pack, 2 shirts, 2 chips, Sargento cheese snack cups, Veggie Burgers, Veggie Chicken Nuggets, curly fries, Beer for Jeremy, some Easter paper plates that were on sale, and 4 wooden Easter Rabbits that were on sale. I’m sitting here thinking I must have gotten more than that….. Oh I got a bag of Kind Granola and Kind Peanut Butter Granola Bars. And a few Bananas. Anyway, this added up to over $100 of items. -_- I made an effort to know what I could get cheaper at Walmart, which made it a lot easier for me to walk away from some things.

It was sad driving by Goodwill and seeing it roped off. They were smart to do that though because people would have piled donations sky high outside their door. People have time right now that they do not normally have to clean out their closets. With so many being laid off, it will be interesting to see if everyone goes to the thrift store to find items to resell when they reopen. I feel that I can foresee this. I just started back my closet but know it is going to take a long time to build up my inventory again. At least now I have a direction and see more of where I want to go with reselling.

When I returned home from Target I made lunch & went outside to read. My legs are still whiter than Snow White. It is awful. But when you have Depression, you often stay inside a lot. Or want to anyway. Hence, why my skin is a stranger to the sun. I’m trying to change that by journaling, reading, and eating snacks out there. Check back in 2 years and I may have a tan line somewhere.

Jeremy ended up coming out with me later in the day. He brought the dogs out with him. I threw balls to Charlie with his Chuck It toy. We talked a lot about things that had been stressing us out. Surprisingly, I think we have better communication with each other outside as opposed too inside. It may be because nature is more of Jeremy’s element. At one point Jeremy sat behind me in the lawn chair and massaged my back. It felt nice to lean back on him and look up at the trees. We have never done that before. He said he really liked doing that. I even read him some of my decorating book, upon his request. Something about spending time outside with my husband doing something that did not involve social media felt healing. This has been a hard week and we just really needed to end it with each other.

Easter Breakfast & Zonk Eggs

This year, the Easter Bunny will not be stopping by our house because she is in social isolation in her rabbit den. In all reality, the Easter bunny is stressed, suffering from anxiety, and trying to not watch the news. Normally, I’m the Easter bunny that makes baskets for not only my husband but also my pets. This requires going to Walmart or The Dollar Tree to get treats to put in them. Last year the pups had fun sniffing up their eggs. Yes, my pets are spoiled rotten. As is my husband.

When I was drying my hair I came up with the idea to use my Easter eggs that I had on our coffee bar for something fun. My husband and I have never done an actual Easter egg hunt. Today, that all changed. I proposed the idea to him to hide eggs in the house and compete to see who could find the most (he did). He thought it sounded fun so we decided to stuff the eggs with bacon. Yes, I did say bacon. We did not actually have any candy to put in the eggs. Thanks Covid-19. Instead, we did three prizes for the winner. 1. Free Feed The Dog Pass 2. $15 or under item from Poshmark 3. Treat to Starbucks.

Just to add something funny, I told my husband I had come up with the idea of “zonk” eggs. Meaning, these eggs would not count towards a persons total egg count. My husband felt strongly that eggs were eggs. However, he went along with the idea. For the zonk eggs I put cough drops in them so that we would know which ones did not count. My sneaky husband added some cough drops to his pocket to put into his eggs (in an effort to let me win ha!!). Even with that, I still lost. I was not good at Easter egg hunts when I was little and am still not in my 30’s. What can I say, some things never change. The Easter Egg I hid in the toilet paper roll should never have been found though, in my opinion.

I’m thankful that yesterday night we went to Walmart to get a few items to make for breakfast. I made scrambled eggs with cheese and honey biscuits with cinnamon butter. Jeremy assisted me with helping open the can of biscuits (I don’t like how it pops) and making the coffee. After eating breakfast and watching a Survivor, we listened to the Seacoast church service online. Click here for their online service page. For those that are not able to go to church, for any reason, definitely look into an online service. I have a spiritual journal that I take notes with as I drink coffee.

Though it is raining, today has not been as gloomy as I expected. Most likely because of the Easter Egg hunt. Also, Jeremy helped me with the dishes and laundry so that was nice. I’ve been feeling extremely burned out lately. I’ve doubled my medication to see if it is more effective (and with the Dr.s permission). So far, I have had headaches & felt nauseous. Not the results I was hoping for. If it does not help me go in the right direction I will just go back down. Figuring out self care is so incredibly difficult and expensive. I’m going to try to make more ideas of affordable options for my Youtube channel, located here.

Hoping wherever you are, that you had a nice Easter. That you, your family, and your friends are well. Let’s all remember to be thankful for our lives, as they are valuable. So many people have unfairly lost theirs lately. Let Easter remind you that Jesus gave his life so that we could have everlasting life. For those that believe in angels, you may find comfort from the verse below.

The angel said to the woman, “Do not be afraid , For I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; He has risen, just as He said. Come and see the place where He lay.” Matthew 28:55-6 NIV

Bunny Train & Boredom

I’m sitting here listening to Charlie pant. He has been panting for what feels like forever. Charlie, our Cocker Spaniel, takes his tennis balls very seriously and clearly caught quite a few of them today. My husband went outside with the dogs to decompress after work. I don’t know about him but Charlie has been successfully decompressed.

The stress of this social distancing is really beginning to set in. When I was really sick, I did not notice much of anything. Now, I’m realizing how limited the entertainment is. It’s a good sign in a way because I know it means I’m starting to feel stronger. I am trying to resist the urge to wipe everything down with Clorox wipes. Anything that is disinfectant related is nearly impossible to find right now. This did not stop me from sweeping up the dog hair in the house several times today though.

Again, I went out and laid on the lounge chair for a while. I journaled, watched Stefanie Harlowe’s true crime Youtube Channel, got attacked by pollen, and ate snacks. If you don’t know Stefanie Harlowe, you need to. She is amazing. Check her out here. The Easter coffee bar decor video finally got filmed. Not edited. But filmed. I think it turned out cute. Jeremy seemed to like it. Jeremy’s salt rock lamp that I ordered him got put together by me as well. I knew he was going to see mine and want one. When you are married, just go ahead and order two of everything.

I read some things online about the Paleo and Vegetarian diet. I’m basically just trying to figure out how to eat healthy, lose weight, and stay alive. It is really a plus if I actually like what I am eating too. It seems like most people consider diets to be very short term events. Like, once you reach your goal all bets are off. In my case, I’m trying to find a diet which I can incorporate into my daily life. That is, for the rest of my life. The answer to my problem is probably in learning to cook everything that goes into my mouth. It is such an easy thing to say and yet such a daunting task. I’m going to figure it out though. Well, Pinterest & I are together.

Thankfully, I have not heard any virus updates of any kind today. I’m taking a hiatus from CNN and any other company that is reporting the doom that our world has come too. I psychologically just can’t handle the information daily. I hate to say that anything good could come from a pandemic, such as this one. But if anything did, I think it would be that people would appreciate more in their life. I’m so tired of being fed the bullsh*t that things make us happy. Therefore, we need to buy lots of things. That is not logic in my book or my life for that matter. I’m cleansing myself of excess. When the Titanic went down, I’m sure those that only had the shirt on their back had a better chance of treading water. Remember that lady with the big fur coat? She did not exactly make it…. just saying.

Last night, Jeremy and I turned off the TV and just lit a Woodwick candle. Those are the kinds that crackle like a fireplace. I’m sure this helped my anxiety to go down. When I finish this blog I am either going to listen to rain on Alexa or ASMR on Youtube. I’m also going to try to plan out my day tomorrow to see if that helps. Obviously, I don’t have any huge momentary obligations. However, sometimes I think just having a routine can help calm me. I tried to make a Youtube Social Distancing Routine type video today. The sun was bright so I squinted through the entire thing. Bugs also dive bombed me along with pollen. Needless to say, we are just going to delete that video and pretend it never existed….

Social Distancing Lessons

Today I’ve Learned….

In Florida it is legal to own sloths & foxes (with a permit)

Going on a Raw Vegan diet may starve me

It’s possible to easily jump through a hotel window (thanks Cops.. nothing like making me feel safe when I travel)

There is a website that has vintage recipes with pictures of the original handwritten ones here (I’m planning to make vintage French Toast tomorrow)

When I cry at night, the next day is absolute mental & physical crap

For under $50, a man with a riding lawn mower can turn a jungle of grass into a nice landscape (we tipped him, don’t worry)

President Trump’s spray tan appears to be getting darker, as the circles around his eyes are getting lighter (just observation from these Corona Virus updates)

I want a bathtub that my body can fit in, really bad

There is such a thing as a piano bed. I’m not kidding. Watch this tiny home Youtube video here. Want to save space? Just sleep in your instrument.

Today, was an emotionally exhausting day. My head hurts and my eyes feel weak. I did a lot of pinning of comfort foods on my Pinterest, Farm N Sunflowers. Somehow, I went from recipes to a Youtube video of a cute fox that was rescued. This immediately lead me into researching the laws on fox ownership. Apparently it is illegal to adopt a fox in SC. Bummer. It will have to wait until we move by the ocean in Florida one day. After my momentary excitement of owning a fox was met with a dead end, I U-Turned into researching a raw vegan diet. It sounds quite healthy, considering the menu of what can be eaten looks short. And raw. My french toast recipe for tomorrow would not be allowed on that diet. Considering breakfast is an essential part of my day, the uncooked food meals have to wait.

As I was typing this I looked up to see my cat Snuggs with Bella’s double dish cat holder hanging from his collar. After he stole her food, the bowl literally stole him. Karmas a bitch. It should make total sense why I am never again buying my cats those clean looking Rae Dunn bowls with the words on them. Since I purchased several bowls, the cats have broken all but one of their pottery dishes. They have made it clear that they have no desire to be designer cats.

I ordered “The Nesting Place” by Myquillyn Smith off Amazon today. If you are interested in checking out the book, you can find it here. I have really enjoyed her book, “The Cozy Minimalist Home.” If you find a good writer it is definitely worth seeing what else they have out there. It’s so interesting how everyone has their own story and way of telling it. Grasping my attention is an extremely hard thing to do these days. I will start books and put them down to collect dust. I’ve found though that I am wanting to be near books that are about self care & that which brings peace. Hence, why I have enjoyed the above writer, Myquillyn Smith. She has a relatable writing style that I find myself agreeing with often. Hopefully, her books can simplify my home, life, and mind. Not a bad deal for under $20.

My Pets Are Not Social Distancing

Apparently, Bella is getting tired of the social distancing. She has resorted to trying to eat my bouquet of dried flowers. Bella is our cat, in case you were wondering. She also liked to eat grocery bags if given the opportunity. Need anything recycled? Just bring it on over to our cat. In all reality, we do not promote her doing any of this. She is normally caught red handed in the act. This morning I rocked my chihuahua and cat at the same time. I don’t know what it is about this red soft blanket but when I put it on me, the pets appear on top of it.

I’m now taking Mucinex & Mucinex DM which is treating my symptoms better. I’ve felt quite drugged and tired today. Daisy, my chihuahua, took a long nap with me. She is currently snoring in my lap. The older she gets, the louder she snores. I’ve downloaded the Candy Crush app to my phone. I don’t think I gain any brain cells from this game but it does keep me still. Every time I start to feel better I move around too much and end up feeling worse. It is worth mentioning that I have not listened to ANY updates on the Corona Virus today. It’s amazing how hard it is to distance yourself from social media. But it’s healing. I feel better having not a dam clue as to what is going on right now in the world.

My diet today has consisted of macaroni & cheese, Welches fruit snacks, and peanut butter crackers. And coffee. This is about all I want when I am sick. People have told me to try taking dairy out of my diet. Being Vegetarian, this is a very depressing thought. Other than vegetables, I’m unsure what would be left. That idea alone makes me want to binge on carrot cake. Hey, it has carrots right?

We are supposed to move in a month, have a stack of bills we need to pay, and pick up my car in GA. My husband had to leave it at my granddads when he went down to help move him. I’ve been too sick to retrieve it yet. I’m trying to focus on more positive things so that my mind does not fall deeper into darkness. Here are a few things….

I ordered a Zen garden from Mercari that came yesterday (I need to open it)

I’m talking to someone on Etsy about making me a banner for this blog

I rocked my chihuahua and cat today, at the same time that is.

I ordered a DIY stained glass window book from Amazon today

My counselor is calling on Friday

She made it

Tomorrow, I need to work on my Project Hope & Heal that I am doing for my Youtube channel Farm N Sunflowers. I think a few people are going to do it with me. It is a good thing to try and make a difference to others, no matter how small. I sent someone a pack of my polymailers to help her with mailing out masks to those in the medical field. She is literally hand sewing tons of them with five kids. I have crazy respect for that. Sewing needs to be added to my goal list, when all of this distancing is over.

Speaking of social distancing, I read a good article today on Pinterest called 105 Things To Do At Home During Quarantine. It is definitely worth a read. I would advice that you skip over the one that mentions getting a credit card. I absolutely do not promote credit cards, as it took me years to get out of debt. Remember the free shipping on Amazon Prime right now. You can order a really affordable book and actually get to read it (hopefully). For those of yall that are still working, I’m sure the last thing you want to do is read. Here is a guided journal that looked really good on Amazon called Zen As F*ck At Work . If I were a nurse, I would just order several to leave in the break room!

Off to go watch some Cops with my husband who has been listening to meetings all day. I think he is about to lose his dam mind being inside. We are going to have to remind ourselves that we are the lucky ones. It could be so much worse right now. I hope everyone gets well. Even more so though, I hope we appreciate more when all of this is over. Each other. Our own lives. Our World.

2 AM Thoughts & Rocking The Cat

I am sitting here thinking about how sick the world has become. Both physically & emotionally. Though I want to stay updated, the news is terrifying to watch. There is a cruise ship out there that cannot dock due to people having the COVID-19 virus on it. I read about a police officer going to the grocery store to buy food for an elderly woman who had none. People are trying to stock up on back ordered seeds, in hopes they can grow food to eat. I bet the majority of those people never thought about gardening in their life. Many, in their own way, are trying to save themselves.

Meanwhile, the rest of the population is finding it sensible to stand in long lines to get into stores. Jeremy and I tried to go to Home Depot the other day just to look at the flowers. We quickly realized the crowd of people out front was the actual line for the store. I told Jeremy no way so we turned around and went back home. I see very few people wearing protective gear. I found this to be absolutely crazy. I can be fast to judge at times. I was reminded by someone on Instagram that they actually could not find the protective gear. Sometimes I think judging helps me stay in control of my world. If I assume I understand people, then I know who the players are. I find safety in a false sense of security you could say.

My cat, Snuggs, is currently in my lap as I write this. I put him down for a minute but when he saw I had broken out the soft blanket, all bets were off. He is now horizontal on the blanket with no plans to move. Snuggs is quite comforting & warm I must say. He is one of those cats that knows what is going on. If he doesn’t, he makes it his mission to find out. As I rock my overly nosy cat, I will continue on…

It just seems like (me included) no one has any idea what to do right now. All advice is very contradictory. America has been hearing from the news that we should not hoard food. Now they are saying to stay in your homes. Home food delivery services are going on strike due to lack of protective gear & pay during this time. I would put money on it that sooner or later Walmart’s and grocery stores will also experience this problem. Seeds can only grow so fast. How is it again that we are supposed to eat?

The one piece of advice that seems to be spreading like wildfire is to wash your hands. However, if there is no soap or hand sanitizer, how does this get done? I had these grand plans of sanitizing the house daily. Now, instead, I am rationing my Clorox wipes to about 1 a day. Oh and you know those DIY’s on Pinterest for hand sanitizer? I read on the CDC website that it is not recommended to make your own hand sanitizer because there needs to be a proper amount of alcohol in it to be effective. Fuck.

I’m seeing people sewing masks for hospital workers due to the shortage. I know COVID-19 can be spread by just droplets of spit from a cough being inhaled by a person. Masks make sense right? Also found on the CDC website is the advice to not wear masks unless you have this virus. In order to find out if you have this virus, one must potentially expose themselves to it by going to the ER or Doctor to get the test. How exactly do we correctly save ourselves again?

Having to stay inside is really the least of my own personal worries. I’ve been struggling to get over the flu for what I believe is over 4 weeks now. Yesterday, my fever was 99.4. Today, it was 99.8. I’m taking vitamins, ordered more vitamins, drinking water, and trying extremely hard to not contact this virus. It is like I am in a horror movie and the monster is coming for me. I need my immune system to kick in NOW. ASAP. PRONTO. I’m afraid to go outside, talk to the neighbor, or even open the windows for too long. There are all of these un disinfected surfaces in our home that are driving me crazy. Trying to conserve cleaning products though while not physically over doing it.

My other two cats now are having issues in the house. While Snuggs looks on from his blanket, Bella is hissing her throat out at our other cat Grizzly. They are having territorial issues at almost 3 AM. I’m stressed about surviving, meanwhile they are trying to decide what portion of the house they can claim. Fun Times. I guess we can all agree that we are feeling upset. Other than Snuggs.

I’m going to end here even though I have no idea what to do other than sit and rock Snuggs. I feel like crap. I wish I could take care of others. I want to sleep. I need more water. I’m wondering if I will ever stop coughing. I have no idea why Grizzly is running through the house screeching. I’m over this. So over it. Update: Going to bed NOW. Two stink bugs decided to join me on my overhead kitchen light. One keeps buzzing around my head as if he has now claimed the computer as his territory. He can have it. Fuck.

To Hoard Or Not To Hoard?

If you asked me this question a week ago, I would say that hoarding is definitely not a good idea. As time goes on though, I’m noticing that this virus is spreading at a very fast rate. Turn on any news channel discussing this pandemic and you will be advised to stay HOME. Social distancing has become a thing. I believe I heard today that New York just went on lock down. Something I wish I did not hear is that Italy is bringing in military vehicles to cart off victims bodies. It’s terrifying. I’m finding that either people are ignorant about the reality of this virus or they are terrified of getting exposure to it. I am the latter.

My immune system is incredibly week & I’m still recovering from the flu. (I caught it about 4 weeks ago) My goal is to keep my husband & I in the house as much as absolutely possible. In order to do this though, we do need food. How is it possible to stock up on food without being considered a hoarder at this point? When this pandemic first reared its ugly head, I feel the “stocking up” consisted of binge buying sanitization items with the intention to sell them. Now that Poshmark, Mercari, and Ebay have cracked down on those trying to make a profit off these things, I believe mass survival shopping is continuing for a different reason. People are fucking afraid to leave their houses. At this point, I truly do not think it is a good idea to go to Walmart every week for groceries. The less exposure the better. So when my husband went to the store today, I texted him a list of items to get with less guilt.

We will use everything that we buy. Now is not the time to stock up on items that you plan to sit on your shelf & not use, unless starvation starts happening. I believe that people should get and use what they NEED. Meaning, if you need to stay inside the house for 3 weeks, get enough to live during those 3 weeks. My husband picked up over the counter medications, frozen foods, 1 milk, fruit, bottled water, and some other items. He lucked out and was able to purchase 1 Windex multi surface cleaning spray. I spray the house down daily to insure I’m keeping often occupied areas free of germs.

Bless my husband. He got me 2 packs of tampons. He even asked me over the phone if I needed any, as I did not have that on the list. I married a good man. He was so funny saying, you need the pink box right? The above picture is the one I texted him that I needed.

While my husband was out searching for supplies, I was at home making him a mini desk area. Due to the Corona Virus, he is working from home. I’m extremely thankful that he has a job that allows him to do that. I made sure I put plants by & on his desk because he loves gardening. I also gave him my keyboard pen holder to use & my office desk chair. The most exhausting thing about this project was trying to fit a 6 foot fold out table into this space. Let me just tell you, it did not work. I then decided to use my desk in the office that is 4 feet. This required me putting the computer on the ground to get access to the table. Then, once I had the table, I had to figure out how to get it into the living room. It would not collapse all the way for me so I had to move a shelf & the trash can to fit it through the door way. Fun times. I think it turned out quite nice. He seemed to really like it too.

When we went to run over to CVS, I realized 4 of our tulips had bloomed. It was nice to see a pop of color during this incredibly dark time. The tulips looked like they were appearing to bring peace. A reminder that the earth will go on. That all of this sadness, fear, and sickness will pass. I dedicate these tulips to the people that had their lives unfairly stolen from this devil of a disease. I have no doubt you fought hard. I truly hope you will be remembered for your beautiful life as opposed to what ended it. If you have lost a loved one, my heart completely goes out to you. There is no pain in this world greater than losing someone you held dear.

It’s very important to me to also say thank you to the grocery workers that show up, handle peoples items, and stock the shelves. You are making a huge difference to all of us. Also, a ginormous thank you to the doctors, nurses, CNAs, and other hospital employees that brave this illness in the name of caring for others. Thank you, to each person that is donating medical supplies, their time, and their prayers in order to give relief to those suffering. I’m not a political person nor do I feel that it’s essential to like the president right now. I completely acknowledge that there are a lot of things that could have been done differently. It’s important during a time of crisis though, to come together as humans. To be thankful to all those going live on social media to inform us of updates & what is being done to help the United States survive this virus. Looking at it from that angle, I thank the president, vice president, doctors, reporters, and many others that are consistently trying to inform the public about how to prepare for the Corona Virus (aka hell). I can appreciate that they are trying to bring us hope. The only way to overcome this sickness is to love & support each other through it. Period. Stay well out there!