social isolation

I Found The Meep & The Purge

There has been this loud “meep meep” sound that has been terrorizing my husband and I for months now. After quite some time, we realized it was coming from the attic. Despite doing some major investigating, we could not locate it. The sound reminded me of a loud alarm beep. The sound was sporadic and would happen when you least expected it. Let me tell you, the struggle is real.

Today, I finally found the meep meep. We were taking boxes down from the attic and my husband stated that he thought the sound was in the heavy box labeled “TV.” Sure enough, later the box started randomly meeping. My husband, of course, was snoozing on the couch when it hit me. I COULD NOT TAKE ONE MORE MEEP. I ripped the tape off the box and grabbed the first guilty looking culprit. It turns out, the meep was coming from our Nest smoke detector. There of course was no OFF switch. I resolved the situation by running out to the car (at night) and chucking it into the back seat. I once did this with a Furby after being unable to get it to stop mumbo jumboing. Who knew the car could resolve so many issues. Case Closed.

Charlie does not like when I pack or clean. He wants items to stay on the floor and as dirty as possible.

Before all of this excitement took place, we unloaded many boxes from the attic. I had NO IDEA I saved so much sparkly senseless shit from the past. I’m now questioning whether or not I had a complete mental break from reality. I’m going to blame it on my Youtube shopping haul video obsession. I used to love to watch people show what they have purchased on Youtube. (OK…I still sometimes watch those videos…). I became completely inspired to buy items & discuss them on my channel. Here is a life lesson for you: Don’t do what other people are doing. It never turns out the same. Years later, my broke ass is un stuffing sparkly items from a cave. Learn from my mistakes.

So what did I do with all of these things you may be wondering? Just check the above picture. I became empowered this morning and taped together a lot of the priority USPS boxes that I recently over ordered. I wrote “FREE” in different colors across them and filled them with everything from seasonal decor, sparkly things, and items I will never use. Major props to my husband for hauling out those boxes of items he spent money on, to make me happy.

All I can say is that stuff does not make me happy in the way it used too. When I am surrounded with things, I become super anxious, depressed, and unorganized. None of those things help enhance my life. Hopefully though, the people that filled their car with my items will find their lives enhanced by them. I heard a small child ended up with my ceramic car bank. Maybe my purge became part of a fun story to his class about how he acquired a new car that can hold money. I would like to think so.

Since the day is going backwards in this blog, we will end on this morning. I was up early enough to prevent a piece of pizza from becoming my husband’s breakfast. What is it with men and cold pizza? It has become a thing, since COVID-19, that we make breakfast before watching church online. Today, I made scrambled eggs & waffles. Jeremy assisted me with the coffee. Everyone then piled onto our gray couch to watch the Seacoast church service. In case you are wondering about what time the services are online, please click here. They have great music and a relatable message, which I have always appreciated.

Not pictured is our cat Bella, who shortly joined us on top of the couch (or window). And of course me, who is holding my phone & breakfast. I do not wake up looking any sort of camera ready. If anything, my hair appears to have been hit by a category 5 tornado during the night. Therefore, I usually pass on AM Photographs.

Blueberry Waffles With Cinnamon Butter & Cheese Eggs

I feel like surviving today was in and of itself an accomplishment.

Social Isolation & Poshmark Updates

It’s interesting how normally I make an effort to isolate myself from people. Well, from the world in general. I gravitate to where it is dark and undiscovered. I’m the girl that tries to some how blend into the wall paper if I absolutely have to attend a party. (In all reality, you can find me on the back steps of the house drinking beer). And yet, with all this effort I put into staying distant, I’m currently miserable being isolated. Thrift shops are closed. Starbucks drive through closes early in the afternoon. Just going to the post office feels stressful because of this pandemic. The most exciting thing I have been doing lately is below:

I have also been putting work into my Poshmark Closet, FarmnSunflowers. Feel free to stop by. I’ve completely changed (several times) what I want to be doing with my closet. I’ve gone through so many different phases. First it was plus size clothes, then all clothes, then baby clothes, etc, etc. I’m now settled momentarily on selling self care items for women. Men are of course always welcome too. My main focus though is to put items in my closet that have an empowering, inspirational, and cozy feel to them. I took time to write out a very long list of items to look for in these categories. Then, I misplaced the dam notebook. We are moving so I do not know where much is right now. To give you a sneak peak of what I am doing, here is a photo:

I’ve started using props to use in my backgrounds, which I like. I don’t know why I have never tried using succulents in my pictures before. I also discovered a good angle to shoot my pictures. Again, if you would like to stop by to check out my closet, just click here. I’m working on listing all of my items on Mercari as well. I’m starting to lean towards Mercari over Poshmark because the shipping prices are so different. It’s really hard to convince a customer they should buy a $10 item when the shipping is $7.99. Granted, it is up to 5 lbs but that means the customer actually has to buy 5 pounds of items to make that shipping price worth it for them. I could prob count on one hand how many times that has happened in over 2 years for me. -_-

Zonked Husband & Target is $$ AF

Not too long ago my husband fell asleep on the couch. I knew after 3 beers, if I did not get him up now to go to bed he would be staying put. Let’s just say I would rather lift an ice berg than get him to understand why he needs to get in bed after sleeping on the couch for a while. After waking him up, he tells me it is 8:30 PM and it is too early to go to bed. I explain to him that he was just sleeping. He says he wants to watch another movie. So I say, you can either watch a movie and sleep out here or come to bed (he never likes sleeping on the couch all night). You learn things like this when you get married. He decided to go for the bed. He didn’t want to turn on any music though because he was not ready to go to sleep. I left him in the room playing his game. I would put money he fell asleep doing that in 2 mins. When I went back in the room, he was out, but still had his thumb on the game as if he was playing it. I had to take a picture.

Today has been a rough one for me. It ended better than it began so there is that. This morning I rescheduled my counseling call because I felt like I was hardly coherent. I’ve been suffering from head aches, night mares, and all around sleep issues. I just truly was not in a good mindset to do it. I thankfully was able to reschedule the call for Tuesday at 11 AM.

I just felt so completely depressed when I got up this morning. Defeated. Tired. Sad. Basically every negative word in the dictionary. I did not do my morning routine of vitamins and listening to soft music, so I am sure that set my day in the complete wrong direction. I felt like I was suffocating in the house. Being my crazy random self, I decide that in the middle of a pandemic that it is a good idea to go to Target. Again, I just needed to get out. Don’t get inspiration from me though because my ass really should have been inside. I need to learn to sew. Maybe that would keep me still for longer periods of time without feeling a mental break coming on.

Going to Target was very strange. It was nice on the way over there but so much is shut down. I want to give a shout out to the Target employee today that was taking the time to sanitize all of the shopping cards to give to customers. She saved me from having to open one of my sanitizer cloths. I was wearing a face mask when I went & used hand sanitizer in the car. The atmosphere at Target was quiet. Many shelves were cleared out. Especially, the cleaning shelves. One of these days I will see a lysol can again. I can feel it. Also, the art aisle was wiped clean. I had interest in getting a drawing pad until I saw that they were $9.99 ! Yeah, NO. The Dollar Tree sells these for $1. I did see a few fantastic journals that explained on the cover what this pandemic is making me feel like.

After giving up on the cleaning and the art section, I wandered into the clothing part of Target. The first pair of workout pants I checked the price on was $40. FORTY DOLLARS. What the hell? I got out of that section QUICK. Finally, I located a rack of T Shirts that looked soft. Surprisingly, the XXL ones looked like they would fit me. Target clothing always seems to run so small for me. I ended up with a Lion King and Garfield Tee. If they fit and I can wear them during social isolation, then they work! Oh, these shirts were $12.99 each. Which seemed reasonable to me.

One of the last sections I found at Target was the Dollar Spot. Why they call it the Dollar Spot anymore is really beyond me. It is actually difficult to find $1 items there. It’s more like $3, $5, $7, and higher. Yet, for some reason, that section always manages to pull me in. Though I almost bought Daisy some pool toys and Jeremy a seasoning grow kit, I put them back. They were just overpriced and an impulse buy. Again, I can find Daisy’s pool toys at the Dollar Tree where everything is $1.

Somehow, even with all my reasoning of items I should pick up, I still managed to spend $118. It is like REALLY? I did buy a few bags of things but dam. I got 5 plastic tote crates to help us pack, 2 shirts, 2 chips, Sargento cheese snack cups, Veggie Burgers, Veggie Chicken Nuggets, curly fries, Beer for Jeremy, some Easter paper plates that were on sale, and 4 wooden Easter Rabbits that were on sale. I’m sitting here thinking I must have gotten more than that….. Oh I got a bag of Kind Granola and Kind Peanut Butter Granola Bars. And a few Bananas. Anyway, this added up to over $100 of items. -_- I made an effort to know what I could get cheaper at Walmart, which made it a lot easier for me to walk away from some things.

It was sad driving by Goodwill and seeing it roped off. They were smart to do that though because people would have piled donations sky high outside their door. People have time right now that they do not normally have to clean out their closets. With so many being laid off, it will be interesting to see if everyone goes to the thrift store to find items to resell when they reopen. I feel that I can foresee this. I just started back my closet but know it is going to take a long time to build up my inventory again. At least now I have a direction and see more of where I want to go with reselling.

When I returned home from Target I made lunch & went outside to read. My legs are still whiter than Snow White. It is awful. But when you have Depression, you often stay inside a lot. Or want to anyway. Hence, why my skin is a stranger to the sun. I’m trying to change that by journaling, reading, and eating snacks out there. Check back in 2 years and I may have a tan line somewhere.

Jeremy ended up coming out with me later in the day. He brought the dogs out with him. I threw balls to Charlie with his Chuck It toy. We talked a lot about things that had been stressing us out. Surprisingly, I think we have better communication with each other outside as opposed too inside. It may be because nature is more of Jeremy’s element. At one point Jeremy sat behind me in the lawn chair and massaged my back. It felt nice to lean back on him and look up at the trees. We have never done that before. He said he really liked doing that. I even read him some of my decorating book, upon his request. Something about spending time outside with my husband doing something that did not involve social media felt healing. This has been a hard week and we just really needed to end it with each other.

Easter Breakfast & Zonk Eggs

This year, the Easter Bunny will not be stopping by our house because she is in social isolation in her rabbit den. In all reality, the Easter bunny is stressed, suffering from anxiety, and trying to not watch the news. Normally, I’m the Easter bunny that makes baskets for not only my husband but also my pets. This requires going to Walmart or The Dollar Tree to get treats to put in them. Last year the pups had fun sniffing up their eggs. Yes, my pets are spoiled rotten. As is my husband.

When I was drying my hair I came up with the idea to use my Easter eggs that I had on our coffee bar for something fun. My husband and I have never done an actual Easter egg hunt. Today, that all changed. I proposed the idea to him to hide eggs in the house and compete to see who could find the most (he did). He thought it sounded fun so we decided to stuff the eggs with bacon. Yes, I did say bacon. We did not actually have any candy to put in the eggs. Thanks Covid-19. Instead, we did three prizes for the winner. 1. Free Feed The Dog Pass 2. $15 or under item from Poshmark 3. Treat to Starbucks.

Just to add something funny, I told my husband I had come up with the idea of “zonk” eggs. Meaning, these eggs would not count towards a persons total egg count. My husband felt strongly that eggs were eggs. However, he went along with the idea. For the zonk eggs I put cough drops in them so that we would know which ones did not count. My sneaky husband added some cough drops to his pocket to put into his eggs (in an effort to let me win ha!!). Even with that, I still lost. I was not good at Easter egg hunts when I was little and am still not in my 30’s. What can I say, some things never change. The Easter Egg I hid in the toilet paper roll should never have been found though, in my opinion.

I’m thankful that yesterday night we went to Walmart to get a few items to make for breakfast. I made scrambled eggs with cheese and honey biscuits with cinnamon butter. Jeremy assisted me with helping open the can of biscuits (I don’t like how it pops) and making the coffee. After eating breakfast and watching a Survivor, we listened to the Seacoast church service online. Click here for their online service page. For those that are not able to go to church, for any reason, definitely look into an online service. I have a spiritual journal that I take notes with as I drink coffee.

Though it is raining, today has not been as gloomy as I expected. Most likely because of the Easter Egg hunt. Also, Jeremy helped me with the dishes and laundry so that was nice. I’ve been feeling extremely burned out lately. I’ve doubled my medication to see if it is more effective (and with the Dr.s permission). So far, I have had headaches & felt nauseous. Not the results I was hoping for. If it does not help me go in the right direction I will just go back down. Figuring out self care is so incredibly difficult and expensive. I’m going to try to make more ideas of affordable options for my Youtube channel, located here.

Hoping wherever you are, that you had a nice Easter. That you, your family, and your friends are well. Let’s all remember to be thankful for our lives, as they are valuable. So many people have unfairly lost theirs lately. Let Easter remind you that Jesus gave his life so that we could have everlasting life. For those that believe in angels, you may find comfort from the verse below.

The angel said to the woman, “Do not be afraid , For I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; He has risen, just as He said. Come and see the place where He lay.” Matthew 28:55-6 NIV