If you are in trauma recovery, my heart goes out to you. I’m in the process of going through it and dam, does it challenge me mentally & physically & financially. It’s hard remembering moments that hurt me, people that left, etc. There is absolutely nothing about discussing those topics that is easy. I also do not think I would ever get to a point where I was “ready” to go there. I’ve realized that healing goes hand in hand with bravery. We must be willing to face topics that have affected us our entire lives. Basically, trauma recovery for me is excavating a lot of pain that I have buried within myself.
After going to counseling, I went to Goodwill and spent some money. I tend to escape from being overwhelmed by going shopping. Today, I found a $4.99 chair & ottoman. Both were in well loved condition. Even though the chair did not appeal to me, I did not think it was a bad price for the ottoman. I learned today that 1 ottoman will take up your entire buggy. Another discovery I made was a three level train station toy. Normally, I would not purchase something like that because it is for older kids. But this one was well made, condensed size, and pretty adorable. This toy was $4.99 too. I just looked it up on Google and found it selling on Ebay for $79.99. #score
I picked up a few other smaller items like a candle scented “winter” and a metal candle holder. There were a few baby outfits & a jacket that I decided on. It is really challenging to know what to get. Especially, if you do not know if you are going to be adopting a girl or boy. But I do know this, the price is good.
The resellers were definitely out today (myself included). I did not buy anything to sell though. Mainly, I was shopping to bring my anxiety down. Of course, those other customers may have been doing the same thing. It is just interesting to listen to people and watch what they fill their buggy with. There is this friendly competitiveness amongst that is head scratching. On the one hand, I hear women cheerful as all hell talking to each other while they shop. On the other, I get the sense that they are ready to take out their box cutter and slit throats if an item comes out that they want.
When I got home, I was absolutely starving. After making vegetable noodles (and only eating the noodles), I headed straight for the peanut butter cookies. I’m literally holding myself back from eating all of them. I picked out 1 cookie. It was the largest one in the box but hey, it still counts as one right. It was really good. But after my husband, Chihuahua, Cocker Spaniel, and two cats had a bite..the cookie was no longer quite as large. If you want to eat less calories get a husband & lots of pets. That should do the trick.
I’m now going to listen to Stephanie Harlowe’s new True Crime youtube video. She did an update on the Madeleine McCann case. It is mind blowing to think that they still do not know what happened to that little girl. Even more shocking that her parents would leave her in a rental, with the door unlocked, while they went out to eat with friends. My husband just scared the crap out of me. He cleared his throat in hopes of not startling me. That effort alone scared me. I’m about the most on edge person you will probably ever meet. He is sweet though and tickled me with his scruffy beard kisses.
Going to end here. Hopefully I will find the strength to walk the dogs later tonight. That, or go lie down underneath the blanket and never return. The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe sounds so appealing right now. Who would not want to just climb into their closet and step out into an entirely different world. Especially one with talking beavers. I think there were beavers. On that note…..goodnight.
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